When we lose, we all feel defeated; but why are some people able to get up, pick up the pieces and start over again, while others are mired in quicksand and see no way out?
Mindset. Our brains are wired from the accumulation of experiences we've had throughout our lives that have made us react in ways that are either self- limiting, or expansive.
People who respond unconsciously in self-limiting ways put a lot of pressure on themselves. You see it all around you. They get caught up in the shoulda-woulda-coulda mentalities that make mountains out of molehills, every misstep a disaster and every success not good enough compared to someone else's. They've failed at life. They put an awful lot of pressure on themselves unnecessarily and at some point they're just going to burn out - both physically and emotionally.
Those who are expansive latch on to same situations as an opportunity to learn and grow. Their minds expand as they seek out creative solutions and ways to make their circumstances - and themselves better, simply by focusing on the process. The only person they compare themselves to is themselves; and if they end the day better than they started it, they feel successful. It's a win. Their lives are a work in progress. They're healthier, more creative, more successful, and most importantly, happier.
Nothing is either black or white. Most people are a combination of the two mindsets to greater or lesser degrees, but the differentiating factor that makes some people pull through while others fall on their respective faces is belief in themselves.
So how do we learn to believe in ourselves? Begin by accepting:
- Everything is out of your control. The one place you can have eminent domain is in your head. So, change your head; change your life.
- The only thing cast in stone is the past, because it's become fact; but we can change how we think about it.
- The one constant in life is change. Change is your friend. It makes us resilient.
- Get over feeling you're not good enough. Look and see how far you've come!
We are defined by our thoughts every bit as much as by our actions, so your thoughts effect not only you, but everyone around you, whether it's customers, employees, family, or the guy down the street. Give yourself a break - if not for yourself, for others around you, and see how you can make a difference. Celebrate little successes. Start small.
- Make someone smile (Don't you feel good too)?
- Practice listening. (You'll be surprised how much you'll learn, and how much that will be appreciated)
- Don't complain. (It subconsciously lowers your value and appears negative).
- Compliment someone (it adds to your positive value).
- Make a list of everything that's happened today - even the little things, and be happy you've accomplished them.
- Be kind. You don't know the problems other people are dealing with.
- Appreciate how far you've come.
- Remember, you have everything in your power to succeed.
- If you get in your own way, move, and let your light shine through.
Always remember Dr. Seuss:"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the one who'll decide where you'll go. Oh the places you'll go."