Romance: A Different Approach
By: Jayde Johanssen
I always thought women loved to be taken out to dinner and love to receive flowers and chocolates. These were the ideas of romance which I grew up with, I blame Hollywood and old fashioned parents. One thing I have learned recently, boy was I wrong.
The romantic formula described above may have been a great concept long ago, but that was way back when it was an original idea. At this point in history, one man put some thought into his date, and was the first to take a woman to dinner, buy her flowers and chocolates.
If you get one thing out of this article, I hope it's the realization that since the first dinner, roses and chocolates date, the concept has lost its originality. Today, it's a bit of a cop out, its just another date without thought. Dinner out isn't even special anymore, its something we do every week for no occasion, just to get out of the house.
Flowers are the same, they are a common gift. We use them at funerals, to say good bye and welcome home, at births, birthdays and anniversaries. They are the gift you give when you can't be bothered thinking before you buy.
Has the meaning of romance changed then? Does it have a new definition in today's world? I'd argue not. I'd argue it means the same thing as it always did, we've just gotten a bit distracted by the machine that sells Valentines' Day products.
Romance comes down to one thing, making an effort. Forget about tokenism, running some tired idea and calling it a date doesn't work anymore. You need to get into the head of your partner and do something that she likes. The point of this is in the effort, in the act of thinking about it and coming up with something appealing.
Your partner for example may really enjoy long drives. So instead of taking her out to a restaurant, some thought may reveal that a drive to a country winery, where lunch and a jazz band awaits, is a much better idea. Romance isn't about the thing you do, its about the thought and intention that got you there.
So next time you want to do something special for your partner. Talk to her (subtly often works better) about the things she likes. Then spend the time thinking and actioning the best way to give her the experiences she told you she'd enjoy. This approach is guaranteed to make her much happier than any formulated approach to romance.