Strong Personalities May Rule, But They Don't Always Win!
By: Mary Gardner
I was coaching a woman recently that came to coaching full of energy. Energy for life, energy for her job, energy for her relationships, energy for issues to tackle and energy to be the best at everything she does!
This woman is very attractive and very bubbly! She's at the top of her game, smart as a whip and was thrilled to be able to be in coaching. She's always looking to achieve more and more and improve in whatever areas she can!
She talked and talked and talked. She was happy and enthusiastic and eager to share with me her life experiences. She shared everything I wanted to know about her. She told me she loved challenges and she loved to be competitive!
She explained her need to drive herself hard. She grew up an athlete and with brothers and didn't back down from men. She knew that she overwhelmed people upon meeting them and that her friends just laughed because they knew that this woman's energy level was high.
Are you getting the point?
I quickly became exhausted.
I couldn't keep up. I didn't try.
Me, the coach, a super energetic personality, was completely run over by this strong and competitive woman.
I let her talk. I was happy for her results. I complimented her on her choices.
And then, I asked her if she exercised? She explained that due to a fairly recent injury that her exercise had been put on hold. She told me about her surgery, etc..
I asked her if she had ADD? She said probably yes.
As someone who has suffered from a bit of both of these symptoms of overwhelming people with my energy and also the exhaustion of having symptoms of ADD, I offered her some advice.
I explained to her that being so strong doesn't always make a good employee or counter part. It's good to lose some of that energy or to refocus it in some other competitive ventures as not to put all of your eggs in one basket. You'll chase off the people and scare them to death when they first meet you.
If a person who is strong like this doesn't exercise to release this energy, they're going to find their life in a bit of turmoil at times. They are also being talked about at the water cooler and people are avoiding working with them.
It's happened to me! Especially in the south where people sometimes take their time to get things done. I've made decisions that ultimately effected other people and not always so positively. It was a hard lesson to learn but I did learn it.
If I don't get my â€œfixâ€ of exercise on a daily basis, I'm anxious. What's even better though is to have a physical fitness goal. This drives this competitiveness in the right direction and doesn't have to come out in the work place where it is often an unattractive personality trait.
Many of the people I coach are high energy and exciting people. They're entrepreneurs who have a million things going on. They'd be bored with a desk job and doing the same thing all day long.
In the same breath, I must say, that they probably all suffer a bit from the Type A personality traits and some ADD mixed in. I'm quite comfortable addressing this issue as a person who is working with these issues myself.
So if you are a Strong personality, someone who easily overwhelms others with your energy, your opinions, or your forceful work habits, consider that you are a bit too much. Consider that you can lose clients and friends over this. Consider that even though that is JUST THE WAY YOU ARE that there are things you can do to help yourself mellow out a bit.
If you can manage yourself better, its more than likely you'll be a more comfortable person to be around. With people feeling more comfortable, they are more than likely going to enjoy you more. If they enjoy you more, they'll want to work with you more. You won't have to try as hard and you'll be better friends with those you work with.
It's worth it if you give it a shot. Let me know if some of these things work for you. I'd love to hear your thoughts..
If you can find the time!