Hi there, Lachlan Brown here. As you know, I’m a big fan of mindfulness and the founder of Hack Spirit. Today, I want to delve into what sets classy people apart from the crowd.
They say discretion is the better part of valor, and classy people certainly seem to have mastered this art. They have a knack for maintaining an air of mystery, especially when it comes to their personal lives.
According to psychology, there are eight key things that classy individuals tend not to reveal about themselves.
Let’s get started.
1. Their past transgressions
Classy people understand that everyone has a history, but they choose not to air their dirty laundry.
While we all have our fair share of past mistakes and regrets, classy individuals keep these details close to their chest. They know that delving into past transgressions can often lead to unnecessary drama or judgment.
The beauty of this is twofold. Not only does it maintain their personal dignity and the respect of those around them, but it also shows their ability to move on and grow from past experiences.
Classy people realize that such matters are best kept private, and this sense of discretion is a key aspect of their charm. By being cautious about what they reveal, they create an air of mystery and depth.
In the words of the renowned psychologist Carl Jung, “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”
Classy individuals seem to have taken this advice to heart. They acknowledge their past, but they don’t let it define them or their interactions with others.
2. Their financial situation
Speaking from personal experience, classy individuals maintain a certain aura of sophistication when it comes to money matters.
I remember this one time I was having dinner with an old friend, a person who I always admired for his elegance and grace. The topic of finances came up in our conversation but he tactfully steered the conversation away, without revealing anything about his own financial standing.
Classy people are aware that discussing money can lead to comparison, envy, or even judgments. They understand that their worth is not tied to their bank balance and they avoid flaunting or discussing their wealth or financial struggles.
Classy people exemplify this by focusing on the present conversation and connection, rather than drifting into unnecessary discussions about their financial status.
3. Their personal conflicts
Another trait that I’ve noticed about truly classy individuals is that they rarely, if ever, air their personal conflicts or disagreements.
Arguments with a spouse, a falling-out with a friend, or a disagreement with a colleague – these are all kept private. They understand the value of resolving issues directly with the concerned individuals rather than involving others or airing their dirty laundry in public.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into the idea of maintaining inner peace and equilibrium.
Classy people embody this principle by not allowing their personal conflicts to spill into their social lives, thus maintaining their composure and dignity.
As Sigmund Freud rightly said, “Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.”
Classy people take this to heart, confronting and resolving their personal conflicts internally or directly with the concerned parties rather than venting it out to the world.
4. Their personal health issues
According to psychology, discussing personal health issues can often make others uncomfortable or overly concerned. Classy people, aware of this, tend to keep their health matters private unless necessary.
They understand and respect the concept of boundaries and do not overstep by sharing sensitive health information in casual conversation. This doesn’t mean they are secretive or dishonest; rather, it’s a sign of their respect for others’ comfort and peace of mind.
Illnesses, ailments or disabilities are dealt with discretion. They don’t seek unnecessary sympathy, nor do they use their health condition as a conversation starter or an excuse.
The esteemed psychologist Daniel Goleman’s concept of Emotional Intelligence comes into play here.
He emphasizes self-awareness, empathy, and managing relationships as key aspects of emotional intelligence.
By not oversharing personal health issues, classy people exhibit these traits, maintaining their dignity and the comfort of those around them.
5. Their good deeds
Counter-intuitively, one thing that classy people often keep to themselves are their good deeds and acts of kindness. While some may see this as a missed opportunity to boost their image, classy individuals understand the true value of humility.
They perform acts of kindness not for recognition or applause, but simply because it’s the right thing to do. They understand that self-praise can often come off as boastful or insincere.
This is not to say that they never share their good deeds. Rather, they do so sparingly and with discretion, ensuring it doesn’t become a self-promotion exercise.
Albert Bandura, a renowned psychologist known for his work on social learning theory, once said, “People who believe they have the power to exercise some measure of control over their lives are healthier, more effective and more successful than those who lack faith in their ability to effect changes in their lives.”
Classy people exemplify this by quietly making positive changes without seeking validation or applause.
6. Their personal achievements
Classy people are often high achievers, but they have an uncanny ability to remain humble about their successes. They understand that humility is a virtue and that constant self-promotion can come across as arrogance.
While they are proud of their accomplishments, they don’t feel the need to broadcast them to the world. They let their work speak for itself and believe that true recognition comes from the quality of their work, not from constant self-promotion.
In fact, they often redirect credit to their teams, acknowledging the contributions of others. This trait not only makes them more likeable but also shows their leadership quality.
Classy individuals live by this principle, focusing more on contributing value to others rather than solely on their own achievements.
7. Their fears and insecurities
Life is full of uncertainties and everyone has their own set of fears and insecurities. Classy people are no different, but they handle these feelings with grace and composure.
Instead of openly discussing their fears or insecurities, they tend to focus on overcoming them. They understand that everyone struggles with self-doubt at times, but they don’t let these insecurities define them or hold them back.
While it’s healthy to talk about our fears in the right setting, classy people choose not to make it a regular topic of conversation, adding to their aura of confidence and strength.
As renowned psychologist Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
Classy people seem to have embraced this paradox, accepting their fears and insecurities while continuously striving for self-improvement.
8. Their family drama
Every family has its own share of drama and conflicts. But classy people understand the importance of keeping these issues within the family.
Discussing family disputes or airing grievances in public can often lead to unnecessary gossip and judgment. Classy individuals avoid this by keeping their family matters private and dealing with them within the confines of their home.
They respect the privacy of their family members and understand that every family has its ups and downs. Instead of focusing on the negative, they often highlight the positive aspects and strengths of their family.
This practice not only adds to their class but also fosters a sense of respect and trust within their family.
Reflection: It’s all about balance
Understanding human behaviour often boils down to recognizing the fine balances that govern our lives.
The classy individuals we’ve discussed throughout this piece exemplify this balance. They navigate the tightrope between transparency and discretion, understanding the power of what is left unsaid.
It’s not about secrecy, but rather about understanding the value of personal space, respect for others and maintaining an air of dignity. It’s a delicate dance between revealing enough to connect with others on a genuine level, yet retaining enough mystery to maintain self-respect and the respect of others.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I delve deeper into this concept of balance and how one can cultivate it in their own lives.
So as we conclude, let’s reflect on this. Are there aspects of your life you might be oversharing? Or, perhaps, areas where a little more openness could foster deeper connections? The essence lies in finding your own unique balance.
Remember, as famed psychologist Rollo May said, “The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.” Being classy isn’t about fitting into a mold but finding a respectful, dignified way to be authentically you.